A Man Like You
by TheShippyQueen
Summary: Set during episode 1: Mr Bates is leaving and Anna is confused by her feelings.


_A/N: Set during Episode 1 – in my opinion, this is how it should have happened! _

A Man Like You

The idea of taking him some food had been natural, she would have done it for anyone in that situation, but she would be lying if she said the thought didn't slightly thrill her; in the weeks he'd been at Downton, she'd grown to admire him and class him as a friend. She may even go as far as to say she actually had a fancy for him.

It hadn't been instantaneous exactly, and no matter what he thought it certainly wasn't pity. She'd liked his appearance; he'd seemed pleasant even after Miss O'Brien's frosty greeting and she'd been surprisingly pleased by the little smile he offered in her direction when she spoke.

It had grown from there to an admiration. She saw how hard he worked despite the limitations his leg created. She watched how he bore the unpleasant comments and glances from the other staff with dignity and grace, how he never once retaliated, only defended himself mildly and continued on with his work.

From admiration it had developed into an attraction. At first she didn't even realise she was doing it, but, slowly, she began to notice his smile. Then, how his eyes twinkled when he was amused by something. She began to see how the corners of his eyes would crinkle up when he laughed, and she found herself attempting to make him laugh more and more often.

Then she became aware of other things, such as the smell of his shaving soap, the way he styled his hair, the softness of his voice when he spoke and even the size of his hands. She found herself sitting next to him at every meal time; she began to seek him out if only just to look at him and she found herself trying to begin a conversation with him whenever she could. She began to enjoy the warm feeling in her stomach whenever she saw him, she began to enjoy the way her heart rate quickened when he smiled at her, she liked the stirrings he caused when he spoke to her.

She didn't really think much of it at the time.

It was only when, one day during dinner, she found herself wondering what it would be like to be held by him, to feel him pressed against her, that she realised she was verging on very dangerous ground. It came as quite a surprise to her – she'd never expected to feel like that about anyone at Downton. She didn't quite know how it happened.

It didn't cause her too many problems, it was merely an attraction – a castle in the air – nothing to really be concerned about, she wasn't the type to fawn and moon over a man, but she could certainly enjoy herself, lose herself to a few girlish fantasies, there didn't seem to be much harm in that.

So, when she learned that he would be leaving, she was rather surprised by the emotions she felt. The thought of not seeing him every day made her stomach knot and her heart contract a little. It seemed so unfair to punish the man for serving his country and it seemed even more unfair that she should suffer by losing him as a friend. It wasn't as if the house was falling down because of him, his Lordship was still clothed each day and the serving of dinner had hardly come to a halt because Mr Bates could not wait at table. It seemed very unfair that he should lose his job over a problem that, in Anna's mind, didn't seem to exist.

Though she was a sensible young woman, Anna even briefly wondered if she could plead his case to Mr Carson but, she'd worked at Downton long enough to know that once a decision had been made, it was final. There was little she could do.

And, she couldn't help but think, perhaps it was for the best. For such emotions about a man she barely knew didn't seem natural somehow, she was afraid she was developing an obsession and was in great danger of falling head over heels for him. Perhaps it was for the best he was leaving before she made a fool of herself by flinging herself at him.

But it still seemed very unfair, and when she heard of his imminent departure and the fact he was too unwell to dine with them that night, Anna knew she had to see him one last time. She had to let him know that someone in the house would miss him.

There was nothing dangerous about that.

"What yer doin', Anna?" Mrs Patmore asked as Anna loaded the tray with a plate of food and a glass of water.

"I thought I'd take somethin' up to Mr Bates, him not bein' well enough to come down." Anna replied as the eyes of the servants fell upon her. She looked at Mrs Hughes, "Yer don't mind d'yer, Mrs Hughes?"

Mrs Hughes gave her assent and Anna quickly made her escape before anyone could question her motives further. As she disappeared down the corridor she heard Mr Carson rumble his instructions that Mr Bates should be treated with respect as he left in the morning, he left without a stain to his character.

Anna couldn't help but silently grumble that it was unfair he had to leave at all.

She'd never been along the men's corridor before. It was an area that was out-of-bounds to all women except Mrs Hughes. To be given this privilege was testament to Anna's flawless reputation; it was highly unlikely that some of the other maids would be allowed to take dinner to a man in his bedroom.

Not that she was planning anything. It was all innocent.

As she approached his room, a noise coming from one of the bedrooms stopped her in her tracks. It was the unmistakable sound of someone crying. She moved closer to the sound and peered cautiously through the slightly open door.

She caught sight of Mr Bates, sitting on his bed, crying. For a moment she dithered in the corridor, what should she do? Should she knock and risk embarrassing him? Should she call out, giving him time to compose himself? Or should she just creep away and forget all about it?

She couldn't do that.

Softly taking a few steps back, she paused and tried to conjure up a light and questioning tone before calling out.

"Mr Bates? Are yer there?"

She waited, listened for the sound of him getting to his feet, hoping she had given him enough time to compose himself before facing her. The last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable. He appeared at the door, eyes red and bleary, shirt sleeves rolled up and open at the collar. She tried to look breezy, if that was how she looked she wasn't so sure, but she tried at least to not let him know how affected she was seeing him cry.

She held out the tray, forcing a soft smile. "I brought you some food, in case you were hungry."

Despite the red eyes he managed to smile back at her. "That's very kind."

He balanced his cane onto his arm and reached out to take the tray from her hands. Again, she tried not to stare at him but it was rather difficult. He looked so unhappy and the urge to comfort him was starting to stir within her stomach.

She wasn't sure what she could or should say to him but, it seemed fate was about to intervene. As he lowered the tray to the little table his cane slipped on his arm and clattered to the floor.

"I've got it," she said, taking that improper step into his bedroom and stooping over to retrieve the fallen cane. Righting herself she handed it back to him and he met her eyes.

"Thank you."

It suddenly dawned on her that she was inside his bedroom and she felt her stomach leap at little in response. A soft and flattering blush began to spread across her cheeks and she took the opportunity to glance about his room. Taking in the carpet bag, out but not packed. The bed, made but ruffled, from where he'd been sat. His jacket, discarded on the little chair. The bedside table; the open book; the chest of drawers. No different really to the room she shared with Gwen, yet very different. It was _his_ room, it smelt of _him_.

After observing his room she turned her head to look at him once more. His eyes, less red now, were gazing at her intently and she shifted a little, the soft flush darkening on her cheeks. She ought to say something, but words seemed to be failing her. It was a few moments before she could manage coherent thought.

"I want to thank you; you've been very kind to me during my time here," he said, shifting a little closer to her.

Anna dropped her eyes to the floor and then looked away to the opposite side of the room. "Oh…it was nothing."

He shook his head slowly; his eyes still burning into her but didn't say anything. She'd noticed that in her months of observing him, that he was often a man of few words. But right now, she wished he would say something to her. The atmosphere seemed to grow in intensity; the air became heavier, shrouding them both in unspoken words.

"I'm ever so sorry it didn't work out," Anna said, her voice quivering slightly.

He didn't drop his gaze though his expression faltered a little, the slight betrayal of hurt filtering through the bleariness of his dark eyes.

"I'll be alright," he said, forcing a smile.

She returned the smile, "Of course you will – there's always a place for a man like you."

Mr Bates merely smiled wanly, he didn't seem to believe her but he answered, "Something will turn up."

"I don't see why yer should leave. It's very unfair that you 'ave to at all." Anna said, her tone indignant on his behalf. Surely if Mr Carson or 'is Lordship could see how upset he was, they'd think twice about sending him away.

"I'm grateful to his Lordship for even giving me this chance. There's many who wouldn't," Mr Bates answered, a soft smile on his lips at her indignation.

"Why not? You're a good man and you've been a good worker, any house would be lucky to have you!" Anna insisted, some of her fire and strength beginning to show through.

Mr Bates merely smiled softly and repeated, "Something will turn up."

Anna wrapped one arm across her stomach and rested her other hand upon her hip, straightening her shoulders at the seeming injustice of it all.

"You don't deserve to have to go like this. I've a good mind to go an' tell 'is Lordship and Mr Carson that they're bein' unfair! It's not as if 'is Lordship is walkin' about naked and there's been no mishaps when we've been entertainin', it's unfair and I'd tell 'em so!"

Mr Bates chuckled at this, seemingly enjoying the sight of a fired-up Anna. He could just imagine her walking in and giving them what for. But that was Anna all over, always defending those who were being victimised. It was one of her many charming qualities, though it was often her downfall too.

"You are too kind to me," he reiterated, meeting her eyes with a tender smile.

"Well," Anna said, mirroring his soft smile, her hands slowly sliding back to her sides, "I don't like to see people punished for somethin' they 'aven't done. I always feel I should defend 'em – somethin' I learnt from my mum."

"She sounds a fine woman," Mr Bates said with a nod, his smile faded a little and he tilted his head, studying her carefully. "You seem to defend me an awful lot."

A soft blush spread across Anna's cheeks and she dropped her eyes. "Well…," she paused, her heart had strangely started to pound in her chest, "I only defend people who deserve it, and I felt you deserved it. Some people 'ere were very unkind to yer, and I 'ate to see that."

"I think I deserved it more than you know," Mr Bates replied.

"I don't think so," Anna said with a shake of her head.

A long silence descended upon them. Anna bit her lip slightly; she really should leave, she'd brought the food for him, she'd done her duty, now it was time to go.

Except..the way he was looking at her, it made her feel….special somehow. It made her feel warm in the pit of her stomach and her legs were beginning to feel rather wobbly. He didn't avert his gaze, and slowly, ever so slowly, she lifted her eyes to meet his.

The darkness of his eyes drew her in, the way his mouth twitched slightly made her want to lean in towards him and the warmth emanating from him made her want to step closer. She had to resist the urge to reach for him, to slip her arms around his waist.

It was a whole new experience for her. And it was rather unnerving.

Swallowing hard and quickly licking her parched lips she looked away, dropping her eyes to floor and then quickly to the opposite side of the room. Anything to break this spell.

"Anyway," she managed, her voice cracking slightly, "I just wanted you to know that at least someone here will miss you."

"You'll miss me?" he asked, tilting his head lightly, his expression bewildered. "Why?"

The way he was looking at her, the fact she was in his bedroom, the mere knowledge that he had been crying over his lost job all added together to make any inhibitions Anna had disappear entirely. She was completely entranced and her eyes met his again. It was such a strange feeling, it almost reminded her of the time she had been dared by her brother to drink some ale when she was a child. It had made her legs go wobbly and her thoughts all fuzzy. She was experiencing that right now.

"Because… I like you, Mr Bates." In the back of her mind, she was cringing at the forthrightness of her words but her heart swelled with emotion. If she didn't know better, she'd say she was drunk, for she had no idea what was making her speak in this way.

His eyes softened into a smile and he ducked his head lightly, looking away and hiding a grin. "I like you too, you're a sweet girl."

If she'd been asked a preference, Anna would have chosen to be referred to as a woman, but, in this situation she didn't care and girl would do.

"In fact…" Again, the more logical part of Anna's brain began to protest at what it knew was coming next. "I think, if you had stayed… I think I'd be in real danger of fallin' for you."

He met her eyes and once again there was an instant connection, a moment when they both seemed to be losing themselves in each other. Anna was sure she must have stopped breathing, for her whole body seemed to be vibrating with the pumping of the blood through her veins. She noticed how his eyes seemed to darken as he looked at her, but not in an unpleasant way, and she found herself taking a sharp intake of breath. It didn't feel as though it was her stepping closer to him, but she noticed how he matched her movement until they were almost touching.

She felt herself drawn closer, felt herself leaning in towards him, noticed how he seemed to lean in and down, matching himself to her height. She felt her eyes begin to close as she tilted her head to meet him; the smell of his soap began to fill her nose and the warmth of him radiated out over her already inflamed body.

Their lips met, softly at first, shy and tentative, a mere brush of lip against lip and then, sensing it was not unwanted and was certainly pleasurable, their lips met again, more firmly this time.

Anna's hands no longer rested idly by her side, one snaked its way possessively up his chest and around his neck, gently caressing the nape and playing lightly with his hair, whilst the other rested itself against his chest for support. Her response encouraged his and gently, his hands slid around her waist, gently caressing and stroking as they went, pulling her firmly against him.

These first few moments were the most erotically charged Anna had ever experienced. It was the first time she had been kissed in this way and it had been a long time coming. She felt the tingle run down her spine as his hands possessed her, felt the sensual tingle spread out across her body, filtering though each nerve as their lips met again.

It was a slow, deep kiss, soft and warm and as they became more familiar with each other, she found herself yielding to him, her mouth opening softly to his attentions. His tongue responded, gently running across her lower lip and then slipping gently through the gap to meet her tongue, offering her the first real taste of him, of a man. The sensation caused a soft moan to emanate from the back of her throat and she pressed herself against him, her head swimming slightly from the experience.

His hands, low on her back, began to caress her gently, gathering up the material of her dress into great handfuls as his mouth continued to meet hers, exploring and devouring, nipping and caressing. Every sense in Anna's body was overloaded, the sweet yet manly taste of him, the soft musky smell of his skin, the possessive way his hands pulled her firmly against him, allowing her to feel every bit of him, the sound of the blood pumping in her ears. It was the most amazing thing she'd ever experienced.

If she'd been asked (before this night) to describe what she imagined a kiss, a real kiss, to be like, she would have used words such as '_nice'_ or _'loving' _or_ 'gentle' _or even_ 'romantic'_ but this reality was anything but those words. It seemed to Anna that there were no words to describe how wonderful he made her feel as they continued to respond to each other through massaging lips and teasing tongues.

She was beginning to feel light-headed and though she didn't want this moment to ever end she found herself pulling slowly away. He sensed the end of the moment and though unwilling, he agreed, ghosting a last kiss across her tingling lips.

As their lips parted, they remained close, their deep and laboured breaths meeting in the small space between them. She slowly opened her eyes to meet his and nearly melted at the expression she saw within his gaze. He nuzzled her nose lightly though his lips never touched hers again.

As senses returned Anna experienced a rush of confusion and desire for it to all happen again. She leaned in again but he responded by pulling slightly back, dropping his head softly so that his forehead rested against hers.

"I think," he began, voice deep and husky with a hint of breathlessness, "it's a good job that I am going."

"Oh?" she managed huskily, enjoying the feel of his forehead against hers yet still longing for a repeat of their kiss.

"Because, Anna, I think I'm in serious danger of falling for you too," he replied. Reluctant hands removed themselves from her waist and he gently took a step back, eyes still full of warmth.

Her heart leapt a little and a whirl of thoughts rushed through her mind. Thoughts of what had happened and what could happen if he stayed. Thoughts of what she wanted to happen again. Their eyes met in a gaze laced with so much emotion and unspoken words. After what seemed like an eternity, he dropped his eyes, breaking the spell.

"You'd better go, before Mrs Hughes comes looking for you," he said gently, lifting his eyes once more. The expression had changed slightly, no longer quite so dark and there was a real hint of embarrassment hidden within. "I don't want to be responsible for you losing your job too!"

Anna laughed lightly at this, he was right of course. If Mrs Hughes had any idea of what had just happened she'd have Anna dragged down to the church for an exorcism faster than she could apologise.

"I suppose you're right," she agreed, her tone reluctant. Why couldn't she stay a little bit longer? "I'd best go…as long as you're alright?"

He smiled warmly, "I'm more than alright now, thank you."

She mirrored the warmth of his smile and self-consciously straightened out her ruffled dress and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. With a final glance she turned and started to walk towards the door before a thought suddenly struck her.

"Mr Bates?" she asked, turning to face him, her features frowning slightly.

He raised his eyebrows expectantly and she felt her heart miss a beat. She had to fight back the urge to run towards him again.

"I hope you don't think I make a habit of this…" she said, her voice small and tentative.

Again, he didn't speak, just continued to gaze at her, his expression turning more to bemusement as the moments passed.

"I mean… I'm not in the habit of… kissin' men in their bedrooms. It's the first time I've ever acted like that… I hope you don't think badly of me…"

He chuckled lightly at this and moved towards her, his hand lifted and he stroked her cheek with warmth and tenderness.

"I do not think badly of you – far from it! I think you're the dearest girl I've ever met, and that… that was the perfect way to say goodbye," he said gently. "Now, go."

Anna's face brightened and she turned slowly and left the room. It would be the last time they would speak alone together and after tomorrow she would never see him again but, for Anna, that night, that moment would live with her forever. Any future kisses she would experience would be marked against this one, he had set the benchmark high and as she walked down the corridor, her legs still felt unstable, the taste of him still lingered on her lips and she could still feel his big, strong hands on her lower back. It had truly been an unforgettable moment and she knew that when she finally went to bed that night, she would recall every last delicious moment of that kiss.

She heard what happened on the drive from Gwen and Lily. They had heard it straight from Thomas and he had been there at the time.

Mr Bates had not left.

From what Anna could gather (and she tried to keep her questions as nonchalant as possible) it seemed his Lordship had a change of heart at the last minute and told Mr Bates to stay.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

On the one hand, it was wonderful of course. He was a good man and did not deserve to lose his job. On the other hand… where did that leave them? How was she to face him? He was supposed to have left, taking the truth with him and leaving her with the delicious memory.

In some ways, she'd rather he had left. That way, she would have that wonderful memory; she could fantasise and embellish it in her mind. It would stay forever as that one, perfect moment in time that she could recall at any given moment. Now, the image was ruined in a way, she would see him every day and there was no telling what impact this would now have.

But then, maybe him staying was exactly the right thing. Maybe this was the way of things, they'd declared themselves to each other, maybe this is exactly the way the whole affair was meant to pan out. Maybe, there would be many more perfect kisses like last night.

She didn't see him until later that morning, he was busy with Lord Grantham and it wasn't until she heard the familiar sound of his cane against the stone floors did she truly believe he hadn't left. She looked up from her mending as she sensed him standing in the doorway to the servants' hall. Any nerves or embarrassment she may have felt scattered as her eyes met his.

His eyes were dark and he was smiling a soft, wistful smile. He stepped slowly into the room and leaned against his cane.

"Well now, here's a mess," he said, eyes dancing and mouth twitching with merriment. He moved around the table to his old seat, eyes never leaving Anna the whole time. "What are we to do now?"

She dropped her gaze, choosing to focus on the intricate buttons on Lady Mary's nightgown rather than face him. She felt strangely comforted as he sat down at her side.

"It is a problem, isn't it?" she asked softly.

He chuckled softly, "Not really. It's worked out for the best, I think."

"Oh?" She lifted her eyes to meet his and couldn't help but mirror his soft, infectious smile.

"I would have missed someone too much if I'd had to leave," Mr Bates answered, folding his arms across his chest and sitting back in his chair.

Anna dropped her eyes again to hide the giddy smile that threatened to explode. "Can I ask who this person is?"

"Mrs Patmore. Her cooking is the best I've ever tasted!" he answered, nudging her lightly with his arm. She looked up and they both grinned at each other. His face turned serious and he tilted his head to one side. "You know who I mean."

"I think I do, but I'd hate to be wrong," Anna replied.

He leaned in a little closer, his voice low and warm against her face. "You, Anna… you."

Anna's heart skipped a beat and her stomach flipped over. "What does this mean…?"

Mr Bates sat back in his chair, adopting a much more appropriate distance. His expression changed again and he gave a little sigh. "I'm not sure, Anna. It can mean whatever you want it to mean. I'm entirely at your disposal. You see, I lied to you last night…"

"Oh?"

"I told you I was in danger of falling for you when the truth is…I've already fallen for you. You have my heart, Anna." He shifted a little in his chair and Anna could sense he didn't do this often and certainly not in a servants' hall.

"As you have mine," Anna replied, her face breaking out into a huge beam.

It wasn't going to be easy. Who could tell what obstacles would stand in their way? But Anna was determined that her perfect kiss would not be a one-off. She was going to make sure she had many more of those with Mr Bates and nothing would get in their way.

The End


End file.
